Isaac

[Music – Jazz Suite Waltz No 2 by Dmitri Shostakovich]

 

EMILY BISHOP: You're about to hear a conversation between myself Emily Bishop and a man we're calling Isaac that took place in the afternoon of Saturday, February 5, 2022. Isaac is a vampire. And this is his story.

 

[Music – Jazz Suite Waltz No 2 by Dmitri Shostakovich]

[Sound of cassette being loaded and then recording]

 

ISAAC: Hi I'm Isaac and I'm from Ontario, Canada. Yeah. What I do for work, I don't know. I'm kind of all over the place. I drive trucks, I drive a forklift in a warehouse. I work predominantly nightshift. I have been working night shift for probably like five years, but I'm also training to be a stonemason. So that's cool. I do that during the day in the summer. That's it. I don't got much else.

 

BISHOP: Can you walk me through what an average day in your life looks like?

 

ISAAC: Um, probably just like, everybody else's, I don't have a pretty... I sleep probably, well, if there's nothing that I want to do during the day, I'll probably just sleep right up until my shift at night. Like 12 hours, 13 hours, no problem. And I do predominantly everything at work. So I have a pretty laid back job. So I'm able to, you know, not really work, really and just listen to podcasts or predominantly audiobooks and stuff like that. But uh, yeah, if I'm up during the day, I don't know I'm just like an average person. I just like- I just like to read I just read mostly. Do really nothing else.

 

BISHOP: What kind of stuff do you like to read?

 

ISAAC: Mostly things that has- like a religious scripture or things that do with the occult. Stuff like that, esoteric texts. But I also love fiction and nonfiction. I'm pretty like a, I don't know, what's the word for it I just- just love to read.

 

BISHOP: How would you define a vampire?

 

ISAAC: So, the- I think there's a few different ways. Like there's a few different groups of people that use the word. Like obviously, there's like the folklore vampire, which is like the Dracula and, and all that. Nosferatu and things we've seen the movies. Twilight. And then there's a group of people that have adopted the word that don't necessarily identify with the like folklore vampire, like psychic vampires and stuff like that. And then there's, um, you know, like the mainstream idea of a vampire that you may hear someone come back from work and say someone at their work is like an energy vampire or someone's draining you. I think I hear that a lot. Like in just like, just talking to like regular people. Say oh, that was very draining and stuff. I think that's like a vampire terminology. That's where it's kind of like a came into everyday society. But um, as for the community, which I don't know, like, a lot I'm not like a historian on- on the community of- of vampires, which the two biggest categories are people called sanguinarians, which are people that actually believe that they have to drink blood, and others that are psychic vampires or energy vampires. Those group of people, I don't know much about how they started. You know, I'm only 25. So they started like way before me in the 80s. And predominantly in the States, I believe. I personally don't think there's much of a difference between that vampire community and the folklore vampire. I think that's- they're one in the same.

And actually, I'm losing my train of thought here. I got I gotta, I gotta, I gotta scale it back. Because when we use the word vampire, we're taking a lot of things like a lot of things for granted. Like if we were to give like a basic definition, there would be like a lot of endnotes. A vamp- like the general idea of a vampire is someone that has a natural energy deficit. And when I say energy, there's no... I don't think it necessarily mean like, like ATP, like biological energy that you get from food. I think most people believe that has to do with more like esoteric themes like prana or if you're more into like the Abrahamic side of religion, like, like, like the Divine breath of God, you know, something that- the thing that animates us, so almost like a spirit or soul, so they think that they have a... They're either born with a natural deficit or something like a childhood trauma caused it. Almost like a vacuum and emptiness inside you and nature fills a vacuum. So once they have that emptiness of energy, they become vampiric in that moment, and they tend to go take from others.

 

BISHOP: So would you consider yourself a vampire?

 

ISAAC: I would, I would say, yeah. Yeah, I think anyone could be vampiric. I think most people actually have times in their life where they become vampiric. I think that energy exchange is something we overlook a lot in society. It's kind of like, something that's almost not talked about, but we kind of all know, like, like I was saying, like, when someone comes back from work, and they're like, oh, that really drained me and, and stuff like that. It's like, it's not like you have- most likely that person, if they're in the Western world, they've had all the calories for the day. They're, you know, they're maybe well rested, like what is drained about you? Like, what did that person take from you? I don't think there's any scientific necessarily proof for it. Certain things like how do you know like when you're sleeping and someone's staring at you, just their eyes on you, wakes you up. I think there's certain things that are invisible to us that we couldn't necessarily feel but we are not really conscious of.

 

BISHOP: You said that you think like everyone can have some vampiric traits or attributes. What what are some necessary traits that you think a person would need to have?

 

ISAAC: Like, what are some symptoms of being vampiric?

 

BISHOP: Yeah,

 

ISAAC: I'm thinking like, just like overall exhaustion, maybe depression, or a better way of like symptoms of being vampiric is realizing the times you feel better, because like, a lot of times, you know, exhaustion, depressed things like that. Headaches, that can be anything but if you go out and, or if you'd like, listen to gossip, like some people are more- tend to like negative energy. They listen to gossip, they feel better, like spreading gossip or, or just go to... They're introverted, but in a social situation, they come home, and they feel better. These are things that like you're- you're interacting with some sort of energy exchange. And just because you're doing that doesn't necessarily mean you're vampiric, it's when it becomes like almost like a, that you can't hold on to the energy. You know, like, you're just like constant. It's almost like an addiction. I think a lot of people are like that, they just don't realize it.

 

BISHOP: So how did you first come to the conclusion that you are a vampire or that that was a term that you could identify with?

 

ISAAC: I don't, I don't even think I necessarily, I like, identify... Like, it's just something that like when I've liked, like, I guess like the most famous text people would uh quote would be like Dion Fortune's "Psychic Self Defense." She's a famous female occultist and she has a whole chapter in there about psychic vampires and, and stuff like that. And it's not necessarily that like, I identify as part of the community because there is that community. Like we'll get to that the community that... That almost in my opinion, chooses to stay vampiric, but that this is something that everyone kind of deals with, especially in today's culture, where we're kind of- we're kind of living in the disenchanted society. We're kind of like just ignoring the more esoteric aspects of life. So I think anyone could be a vampire. It's not necessarily a big lifestyle change. I don't think. I think some people make it into a huge lifestyle change, but it's just realizing that, you know, if you are vampiric, it's as much of you as any other I guess, illness you would have.

 

BISHOP: So, if- if you personally, were to, like, purposefully feed on someone's energy? How do you go about that? And what does it feel like when you do it?

 

ISAAC: I find in my experience, the best way to go about that is to kind of go into like this meditative nebulin state, like a state- like it's almost, I guess you would describe it as astral projection. And I don't, I don't necessarily know if that's like the right word for it. But yeah, you just kind of go into a meditative state where you can leave your body and kind of travel and then it's, it's, it's up to you what you do from there. It- just because you could do that doesn't mean you're a vampire. I feel like anyone could do that. I feel like a lot of people do that. And they just assume they're dreaming or something like that. But here's, here's a good way of putting it. How do you get powering- when you're dreaming, when you're having a legitimate dream? How do you control the dream? You have to wake up and become lucid, right? So, I would- I would assume the inverse is true for waking life, you have to almost fall asleep in waking life to gain control of reality in that sense, or to- or to leave the shackles of reality because becoming awakened the dream, to become lucid in the dream you somehow leave the limitations of the dream. And you're, you're aware of the dream. So, I guess the inverse of that is, you know, that's why you see people meditate. You're almost... that's like the lucid dreaming of waking life.

 

BISHOP: So, it's more of a... it's more of like a internal meditation for you.

 

ISAAC: Yeah, yeah. It's like a visualization. You just- you just leave your body. That's... I don't know, like, there's no like surefire way of doing it. I don't think. I'm sure that people have many, like, the things that work for them. But I don't- I've never heard of like, oh, this is what you do to uh, this what you do the astral project or to like, project your etheric self.

 

BISHOP: So, when you, when you do that when you have this kind of waking dream moment and you leave your physical self, where do you go?

 

ISAAC: Oh, you first start off right where you were. So, like, you'll hear a lot of people say that like, oh, I had a weird dream, I floated up to my ceiling and then I suddenly woke up. You'll know, you will not mistake it for a dream. It's nothing like a dream.

 

BISHOP: So, you've spoken about, earlier, about us kind of living in like a, like a disenchanted age. And these more like occult, more enchanted aspects of your life, like this whole meditation and lucid dreaming kind of stuff. How did you first get into that?

 

ISAAC: I've always been ever since I was a child like a huge fan of just like supernatural stuff like ghosts. Oddly enough, not a fan of Dracula, or vampires, or werewolves and stuff like that. Just like ghosts. I don't know. Like, I think I was just drawn to them because I'm terrified. I think anyone's terrified of a ghost. It's like a, it's like a home intruder that you can't see. So I've just always been kind of like interested in- in the, I guess, like more macabre side of life. And it was just like the natural progression. You know, it's like, you keep on going for more like if you're, if you're already before you're 10 years old, like already bottom out on horror movies. You know, it's like, where do you go? You try to go actually scare yourself. Because I think that's a thing everyone does is that they'd like to be... They'd like to have that thrill like roller coasters. I'm not a big fan of roller coasters. But people say they like the thrill of a roller coaster. So yeah, you just naturally try to scare yourself and what's more scary than, I don't know people that say they could summon a demon, right? And, you know, I grew up Catholic. I wouldn't necessarily say I'm Catholic now, but that was definitely there's definitely- even though I'm not, I wouldn't say I'm a Catholic now. Being raised in going to Catholic school and stuff. It's, it's a part of your DNA like you think demon and possession. It's like it's scary. I've also had like a lot of supernatural experiences my whole life, I would say I'm a fairly sensitive person to that side. So it's just like, okay, this is scaring me. I have to deal with this almost daily at some point. So I want to know what it is or how to circumvent it, I guess.

 

BISHOP: What are some supernatural experiences that you've had?

 

ISAAC: Oh, man, I've had so many. It kind of- my whole life I've seen things. I'm not schizophrenic. I checked. You got to question yourself at some point, like, oh my God, and my actually- especially is like, I'm around the age now where, where it's, it's like early onset for males. But my whole life I've seen things. My family just tends to be, like my grandmother, she could see stuff. My... My mother almost has like pre-cognitive dreams. Well, I think every mother says they have pre-cognitive dreams. You know? But uh, she definitely- I think she could... We're just sensitive family to that. And yeah, so many, it really took off when I started reading the occult and started practicing. That's when like, the shit hit the fan, because I didn't really know how to protect myself. But now I got it pretty much under control.

 

BISHOP: So, when you say that you like, see stuff, like what kind of stuff do you see?

 

ISAAC: Like the typical, like full body apparition. Um, weird, weird things. And you know what? I thought, you know, I've always thought it was always the trick of the eye, or was in the mind, but then I started experiencing things with people. And I just realized I was the magnet for them, and that we're all sharing the same experience. Like, I've shared many scary experiences with my girlfriends, or friends and family. So it's like, okay, we're all seeing this. And I doubt you know, the strict atheists will be like, oh, it's a shared delusion. But it's like, okay, how? I don't know. I just don't believe that personally. I don't think we're all losing our minds simultaneously in this moment. We're all seeing the same thing. They're hearing the same thing.

 

BISHOP: Yeah. So, you, you study the occult? What all what all does that entail and how do you study it?

 

ISAAC: Mainly through just the like, books. Yeah, just like reading people's books I guess they're called grimoires. That's like the proper term for it is like a... I guess a grimoire is more of a spell book. And I'm not really interested in other people's practices so much of what they do. But just, there's many, many, many occult writers. There's a lot of texts if you were to go to an Indigo here, or I don't know if they have Indigos in the States, it's like a chapter- in like a bookstore. Like a big chain bookstore. They have a whole occult section next to the religious section. It's very... there's a lot of resources, even online, it's, it's not hard to find stuff, I would say,

 

BISHOP: Do you see a distinction between the two? Or are the occult and religion intrinsically linked?

 

ISAAC: Sometimes they are, I feel like every religion has an exoteric side and an esoteric. And exoteric is like the broad like, just like ritual without meaning almost. Like, it's just like- or like the, I guess, the exoteric side of Christianity is Jesus's teachings about helping the poor and stuff like that doesn't really get into like the anthro-progenesis or cosmo-progenesis of life and everything like that. But there's that- there is that aspect to that religion, it's just up to the, the practitioner if they want to get into that because it's... they are intrinsically linked in the text. You can't take the esoteric side out of Christ or, or, or any other. I'm speaking mainly Christianity and Judaism, because that's what I know most about.

 

BISHOP: Do you have any recommendations on literature or listening or viewing for someone that wants to get into studying the occult?

 

ISAAC: I would say... It really depends on the... Even the type of it- there's people that are... Like the hold is so broad and so many practices, like mainly I read about, like ceremonial magic and stuff like that. So if you were wanting to get into that, first off, you would have to read the, the Bible because they're going to be referencing that constantly. It's part of, you know, like English canon anyways. So, you're gonna have to understand that or like the, the Vedas in Hinduism and the Upanishads. But there's other- there's other things in the occult. I guess you could call it like pagans, occultist. I don't know if they would agree with that word, but they don't really have much of a, like a foundation. I guess a lot of it was erased by the church.

To- so to bring that bring it full circle to vampirism. This is, you know, it seems like we got kind of off topic, but it is on topic, because these are things that are intrinsically linked with, with the Vampire. The vampire archetype. You know, this is something that we're never going to... This archetype is something we're never going to get rid of, you know, no matter how hard or stupid, it looks, it's kind of like the clown or the fool archetype. We're gonna have it until the day we die. Just part of our, you know, collective unconscious, I guess. The occult and esoteric things of the vampire, or it is- it is what it is. And, you know, the community tried to get uh, away from it, and they didn't survive, or they didn't thrive. Because, you know, we just, I think that people that looked into these things, they- we just understand it better now, and we're not ignoring, and we're not looking down on, on people or ancestors and thinking, oh, they were just stupid. No, there they were telling us a truth about their life. And it doesn't matter if it's not like scientifically true. There is a difference between what's true and what's the truth. And the truth is almost like the essence of reality, it's not necessarily even a one-to-one comparison.

 

BISHOP: Well, those are all the questions I have. Is there anything that I didn't ask you about that you'd like to speak on?

 

ISAAC: I guess, I guess the only thing, left to say... I'm definitely not a voice for the community. If anything,  I subvert the community by actively trying to shrink the gap between the folklore vampire and the ways we see vampirism today. And it's not helpful or healthy to ignore what our ancestors have said. Even if they're lying, they're telling the truth in the way. A lie will tell you a lot of truths.

 

[Sound of cassette recording and being stopped]

[Music – Jazz Suite Waltz No 2 by Dmitri Shostakovich]

 

BISHOP: Thanks for listening to this interview from “The Vampire Tapes.” I hope you enjoyed it. There are five interviews in this series, so be sure to listen to all of them. For more information on this project, check out tinyurl.com/vampiretapes.

 

[Music – Jazz Suite Waltz No 2 by Dmitri Shostakovich]